Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
