She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
