Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize