Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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