He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
