Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Houston, we have a squirter
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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