Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
