Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
