For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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