I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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