Yo dont text me then not text me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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