gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
