i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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