party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
