I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
