Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize