can we get nightvision for the apartment?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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