And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
