Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize