I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
