This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
