Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
