Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
