Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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