I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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