Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
