I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize