my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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