I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
