I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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