"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I can't turn off my feet"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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