it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
