The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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