at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
