Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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