You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
