Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
