I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend