o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.