I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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