How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
4 words: hood of his car
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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