Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
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i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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