No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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