Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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