I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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