Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You're like the curious george of whores
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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