I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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