3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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