whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
home. puking in laundry basket.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
