Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm bleeding and have questions
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
