eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she told me i tasted like america
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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