Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize