:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize