i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
