if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't turn off my feet"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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