it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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