After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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