apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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