He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
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No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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